Working as a hospice social worker has transformed me from a normal human being into something else. I was once uncomfortable discussing death; now I feel quite normal discussing death. I was once hesitant and unsure how to support people in emotional crisis. Now I find myself stepping in confidently and connecting, understanding, validating and encouraging.
I have also found myself feeling less interested in mundane social interactions. I’ve always enjoyed the more intimate interactions of just one or two people who really wanted to talk about life more than I’ve enjoyed hanging out and watching a football game with a large group of people. Now I feel this way more. If a group of people is going to get together, I would like us to get to the points: What really matters to us? How are we finding meaning in our experience? How are we sowing seeds of love?
I’ve become a better listener. I focus more on listening to my wife, daughter, friends and colleagues as they speak. But when I’m tired, I’m more averse to entering into conversations at all. It’s clear that this work has helped me develop as it has tired and tested me.
Increased racial bias and resigned apathy?
Curious about the effects our profession may have on others, I did an internet search for how thinking about death affects people, and found a surprising article citing research that suggests that contemplating death increases nationalism and racial bias. Fascinating. This doesn’t match my experience working with hospice social workers or nurses, but I am willing to consider the possibility that this phenomenon affects us somehow.
I also found an article about how social workers inevitably get used to letting people down. I haven’t found this to be the case in my role: I have gotten used to achieving results for patients and clients.
Experienced hospice social workers: How has this work changed you?
New or future hospice social workers: How do you imagine it will change you? How would you like it to change you? Share your thoughts in the comment section.
Hospice social work has made me see the resilience of the human spirit. I have seen how a life well lived has made a difference in an individuals last days. This work has made me realize that we can choose happiness in situations we have no control over because I see our patients do it even when they are facing their own mortality. It makes me realize that one day we are all going to die, but all the other days we will live.
Thank you for your very beautiful thoughts! How well we live our lives really does matter in the end, and finding peace and wellness in situations that are incurable is something we can learn to do in this role.
“One day we are all going to die, but all the other days we will live.” This is a perfect quote, Julie!